A Child’s Freedom To Choose
One of my passions is talking about the topic of how to raise children in a way where you have the best odds of your kid turning out the best way, children with high self-esteem and even children that can handle challenges or when it gets really hard out there.
When I had my child, because of a divorce with my wife, I raised by daughter Mackenzie as a single father. I didn’t have a dad myself when I was growing up, but here I was with a child thinking, how do I raise her with work and everything else going on in my life? So that shifted my direction and focus to figuring out how to raise a child.
Sometimes we get an enlightenment out of a tragedy. At that time, I did think that was a tragedy. But I put my focus on how to raise a child. And what happens when you put your focus on something? It gets bigger, and bigger, and it’s something I have studied for 28 years now of how to raise a child and give them the best shot because there isn’t a lot of courses out there on how to raise a child. The fascinating part is that I do personal development classes all over North America, so it’s fascinating to see, why does a human being do what we do? Why do we produce some results but not others? Why do we show up the way we do? Etc.
And if you look at every question or issue, for example, say we look at the way we show up right now, it came from when we were very young. That’s how it all starts.
So why don’t we go down to that root to see how we are planting seeds that produce great fruit?
If what you are doing with your kids is working then keep doing what you are doing but if you have a child that is struggling, then this might help.
So in this video I want to bring up one topic. I feel that one of the most important topics in raising a child is CHOICE. When I was young and started raising my daughter I had some help from my mentor Dr. Wayne Dyer. One thing I learned from him was “We are not here to control our children”.
When I heard that, I was scared and got uncomfortable. I felt like if we don’t control and dictate everything they do they are going to go crazy and go all over the place. But here’s the thing. You are going to dictate some choices, but I challenge you to open yourself up to something.
Look at how much choice you are giving your child. Are you letting them make a choice and then experience the repercussion? Let them make a choice and let then pay the price. Let them experience what does and doesn’t work. If you watch their struggle, you will start to watch their self-esteem grow. Let them choose and let them pay the price instead of always telling them what to do and always having everything decided for them.
Everyone is not going to tell them what to do. Now the sad part is that if that is the format they were raised in, they will find someone to control them, be that role, once they are gone or moving away from you.
This can be a huge struggle to implement at first but once you see the results it will be easier. The more we start cultivating letting them make choices and paying the price for those choices, it builds their self-esteem.
Lastly, I want you to think about this. Do we have faith in our children? Insert faith, have faith they can do this. Keep your eye on them but let go of controlling them and always telling them what to do, and watch your child’s self-esteem grow before your eyes.
Do you have questions or thoughts? Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear from you.